Biscuit Dunking

Ah, dunking. It really does make a cup of tea. If you haven’t tried it yet, you are well and truly missing out on one of God’s greatest gifts to humanity.  Grab yourself a pack of Digestives (milk chocolate, if you’re feeling sophisticated), and a cup of tea (We recommend PG Tips or Yorkshire Gold) and indulge! A few years back, the great art of dunking also became a point of serious (ahem) scientific investigation as a team of scientists embarked on a mission to find the best biscuit for dunking. Here’s an ode to the joys of dunking, along with more details of that ground-breaking experiment, from ‘Rules Britannia: the 101 Essential Questions of Britishness Answered’.

The best biscuit to dunk in a cup of tea is, by near universal consensus, a McVitie’s Digestive. There are some who disagree on this point but statistically speaking, they are unrepresentative of the UK dunking fraternity as a whole. You may also encounter individuals who abhor the whole biscuit-tea-dunk experience. They are clearly misguided…

The digestive is the dunking biscuit of choice for generation upon generation of tea-imbibing Britons primarily because it has what scientists have quantified as the highest WFI quotient (Won’t Fall In quotient) of all the commonly available British biscuits. This was calibrated in a series of exhaustive tests in which all the biscuits being examined were dunked in a cup of tea for periods of time that increased in half-second increments. Then the biscuit was removed from the tea. The test was deemed to have been completed when the lifted sodden biscuit, emerging Mary Rose-like from the depths, fell apart and sank to the bottom of the mug of tea to sludge about unpleasantly waiting for a soul hardy enough to drain the dregs of the drink…

Tea may well be the liquid refreshment that sustains this great nation of ours, but the biscuit that accompanies it is very much the icing on the cake of the drink. A cup of tea is the pause that refreshes, but the biscuit is the added treat that elevates the whole experience into one of everyday indulgence. No one ever truly needs the biscuit, but in our mind’s eye we all deserve the biscuit….

To dunk the biscuit takes the whole experience on to a higher level of enjoyment. And meaning.

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5 thoughts on “Biscuit Dunking

  1. Pingback: McVitie’s Digestives & Tea & Sympathy Rosie Lee: Just Married! | Tea & Sympathy

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