Ladies and gentleman, welcome back to the Tea & Sympathy manor house, for your second lesson in how to marry Prince Harry. Top of today’s agenda is a very important subject indeed: discretion.
Once thought of as an essential British virtue, the general public’s voracious appetite for sex, scandal and salaciousness, and the willingness of the tabloid press to give it to them, means it’s increasingly looking like a thing of past.
But discretion isn’t done for just yet; not under our watch! We want to encourage one and all to take a leaf out of the book of the traditional English butler, and work hard to keep secrets secret. Follow these simple rules for a more upstanding society, and you may just catch Prince Hazza’s eye along the way!
- Keep your public mobile phone calls bland and brief.
- Avoid discussing the following: sex, bodily functions, illnesses.
- Don’t have full-blooded rows and don’t swear! (Ahem, Nicky).
- And always look around you before speaking – do you really want that elderly lady or small child to hear what you’re saying?