Monday Morning Humor & An Ode to Sherlock

We’d heard whispers that the BBC’s ‘Sherlock‘ was fantastic but 2011 was such a busy year, we didn’t find time to watch it. However, in a few spare moments this weekend, we sat down with a cuppa and tuned into the first episodes of the new season. And blimey, it’s bleedin’ brilliant! Twists, turns, awesome acting, sharp-as-a-knife screenplay, sex, intrigue, double-crossing… and Benedict Cumberbatch!

We can see why Mr. Cumberbatch has become something of a heartthrob on both sides of the Atlantic, as renowned for his chiselled cheekbones as his flawless acting. The question is now being asked, is he the best Sherlock ever?

In all the excitement of discovering this televisual gem, we forgot to come up with a stonking start to Monday’s Bad British Joke feature for 2012. Never fear though, because something our sleuthing instinct and we recalled that back in 2002, a British Professor set about finding “the world’s funniest joke”. And here’s what came in second place:

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.” Watson replied: “I see millions and millions of stars.” Holmes said: “And what do you deduce from that?” Watson replied: “Well, if there are millions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it’s quite likely there are some planets like Earth out there. And if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life.” And Holmes said: “Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent.”

So what do we think; funny? And more importantly, Benedict Cumberbatch, please come for tea!

Bad British joke of the week… *groan*

Monday, bloody Monday. Can’t quite face the office? Go armed with this little gem of Terrible British Humor and you’ll be the life and soul of the water-cooler…

Why are there no painkillers in the jungle?
Because the parrots ate them all.

With jokes like that, do you wonder why?

* More so than usual, this terrible joke needs some explaining. In Britain, we refer to acetaminophen as Paracetamol. Thus, ‘parrots ate them all’, Paracetamol, ‘parrots-ate-them-all’… geddit?

If you’re a fan of our weekly bad British joke, we have a chocolate bar just for you. Penguin Bars are made from chocolate cream sandwiched between two chocolate biscuits, covered in milk chocolate. A common feature of packed lunches, each bar comes with a joke printed on the packaging, of a similar calibre to this one…

So there you have it, from a parrot to a Penguin… As with all products featured on the blog, Penguin Bars are available in-store, or by mail order, just get in touch on 212-989-9735, or


So, we bet it was tough getting out of bed this morning? It certainly was here in the T&S camp. After a lovely extra-long weekend of family, food, drink and sleep, Monday morning has hit us especially hard. There’s only one thing that can get the heart beat going, the cobwebs out of the head and the beginnings of a smile on the face, and that is a bad British joke! We feel we’ve outdone ourselves this week, so without further ado, braces yourselves….

A man walks into a bar…

Was that it?! Get me another one, I need it...



He knows a good joke when he hears one

Apparently, Brits are famed for their bad jokes. Well really, we had no idea. We’re also known for being a pretty miserable bunch and it is a well-observed phenomenon that the National Misery Scale (this may or may not exist), peaks dramatically on Monday morning, and doesn’t return to normal levels until just after lunch on Wednesday. As  a nation, we tend to live for the weekend and, especially at this time of the year, as the nights draw in, the first half of the week can be pretty bleeding awful. So, to help us all overcome the Monday Blues, we are introducing: ‘TERRIBLE BRITISH JOKE OF THE WEEK’. First up in our jokes that everyone in Britain is guaranteed to know, but no one will laugh at:

      ‘My dog’s got no nose.’
      ‘How does it smell?’


More of the same next week…